I really want to slap my manager right now

He keeps quoting celebrity marathon times and telling me I’m pathetic if I can’t beat them, and then he’s putting down people with “slow” times (his definition of slow is any time more than 4:30).

He thinks he could do a marathon in less than 6 hours with absolutely no training. This from a guy who considers 3 miles a long run.

“A 6 hour finish is about a 14 minute pace, which is like 4.3 MPH. Come on, I walk that all the time on the treadmill and I don’t get tired. That is totally pathetic that people train and can’t finish in less than 6 hours. What’s wrong with them?”

He thinks if I don’t finish under like 8:30/mile, I must not be a good runner. I pointed out that that’s basically Boston qualifying, which has now convinced him that qualifying for Boston is really easy.

ARGH!

Comments

  1. Your manager doesn’t deserve to be slapped… I’m thinking a swift knee to the groin is much more in order.

    Also, if BQ’ing is so easy then perhaps you should challenge him to do so.

  2. Yeah, he has been talking a lot of smack–tell him you signed him up to run the marathon with you. And give him a swift kick in the a**!

  3. I don’t EVER bet money on anything, even sure things. (If you tried to make a bet with me that today is May 22, I wouldn’t take it. Just how I am.)

    BUT.

    I broke my rule and repeatedly offered him $50 to come do the marathon and finish under 6 hours.

    He won’t take the bet because “it’s too much effort,” but he still swears he’s right.

  4. Wow. Dude seriously needs a reality check. People who don’t run long distances have NO IDEA how hard it really is. My husband, who is an avid cyclist, was completely wiped out the first time we ran together to our gym…a grand total of 1.5 miles. I said, “Now can you appreciate how hard I have worked to get to a point where I can run 10 miles without stopping?”

    I’d coax him into doing a shorter race, like a 5 or 10K, in which you handily beat his smug ass. Then ask him if he really still thinks he could run a marathon.

  5. I’ve found that if I slice their Achilles tendon, that tends to slow down their training.

    My $.02.

  6. Eww – how annoying. I want to smack your manager too. Is he for real or just trying in some weird way to motivate you?

  7. Sarah, I like the short race idea.

    Jamie, I think he’s serious, if you can believe it!

  8. He sounds like an ass about this, if he is serious. Since he’s so convinced he could do it, he needs to prove it. I tend to think the 5K or 10K would (like someone mentioned) be a good start to show him up, then challenge the non-runner that can run a marathon with no running experience to a marathon.

    People like that irratate me. It’s like the non-runners that says “running’s bad for your knees”. They don’t run though….

  9. Maybe you could say something like, “Yeah, I remember when I was a couch potato, I used to think running was easy, too.” Or would that be career limiting?

    My old boss used to insist that “if it weren’t for her bad knees” she could certainly train for a marathon and would most likely beat me. Is being a jackass some kind of core management competency?

    Best of luck on Sunday, Laura!

  10. Just1, I LOVE that you already picked up on my fear of CLMs (Career Limiting Moves). Nice work :)

  11. Your manager truly sounds like an ***hole…but there are lots of people who can be really offensive without even meaning to…like commenting how fat Carrie Underwood (or someone who was on American Idol) is, while surrounded by people sucking in their stomachs… or, when you mention you’re running a 10K/15K/half maration, say “how many miles is that? That’s not too bad. I go out jogging sometimes and go 3 or 4 miles.” It all gives you an opportunity to practice being gracious!

  12. Consider the source, then laugh! It often helps if you can imagine the orange wig, the red rubber nose and white pancake makeup!

    Then the slapstick of kicking (in assorted areas) becomes all the more poignant!

    Some people are just…

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