So the thing about unemployment is that it’s really a lot more up and down than I’ve been making it sound. There are some times when it is kind of nice to be able to sit at Starbucks and wait for Boyfriend even if he’s running late, because my schedule is flexible. And it’s definitely kind of nice that I’m getting paid for doing nothing. (I just have to try to enjoy that while knowing that soon I will not be able to get paid even if I want something to do). Anyway, I just want to go on the record as saying that I am not all depression and tears and alcohol. I’ve been pretty positive since I first got the news, and yesterday (my one week anniversary of getting laid off) was actually the first day I really cried or got terribly upset.
It would seem that a lot of others are unemployed right now too, so I’ll start the tip sharing: cooking has been one of the most awesome activities. Even if I lie in bed all morning, if I pad over to the kitchen in my pajamas and cook something delicious for lunch, I feel really productive… and it even inspires me to crank out some more cover letters and job applications and headhunter queries in the afternoon. Even if I just cook and then lie in bed and watch TV while eating, it still makes me feel at least a little bit more useful. (Note to those of you who are dieting: this should not be construed as advice, as it goes against one of the most basic rules of dieting.)
Unfortunately, as I’ve mentioned earlier, I just haven’t been that motivated to work out. Yesterday I skipped my two hour Biggest Loser elliptical workout in favor of lying around drinking and crying and being depressed; however, it’s usually much less dramatic than that, and more about the fairly common excuses of “oh, I can do it tomorrow” or “nah, don’t feel like it right now.” My marathon planning has fallen by the wayside (how can I schedule marathons if I don’t even know where I’ll be living in a few weeks?), and without a race, I don’t even feel like going for a run. Something has got to change.
Today, Boyfriend was trying to console my tears by telling me that we should come up with a goal for me that is 1) not work-centered and 2) not location-dependent. His suggestion was an Ironman. He pointed out that what’s kept me from doing triathlons before has certainly not been grit or determination, but time, and that is one thing I currently have in abundance. In my woe-is-me state, I told him that an Ironman wasn’t a good goal, because it would have to be several months out and by then who knows what kind of job I’d have and whether I’d have any kind of time to train.
But it got me thinking.
Right now I run marathons without a lot of fuss. I don’t train – I just tell myself I’m going to do it, and I do. I know, I know an Ironman is way harder than a marathon…. but what about a half-Ironman? And what if I could care less about how fast I finished – just that I finished? And what if I compressed a normal training schedule into a shorter period of time, but did everything right and didn’t skip workouts? And most importantly, what if I applied my incredible determination and sheer will toward making this happen?
Maybe this is just crazy talk, but the world is a pretty crazy place right now. Maybe I can’t continue with my goal of being the youngest female 50 stater (that is, I can’t continue right now – of course I will resume once I can cement some plans). But maybe my new crazy goal should be to see how fast a person could get half-Ironman ready?
It would certainly keep me busy.
Addendum because I’m sure this will be suggested in the comments: Yes, I know I could do a sprint tri or something shorter and easier… but where’s the challenge in that? Go hard or go home!