What does your drink say about you?

I know it’s been a while, but I think it’s time for this blog to get back to its roots. It’s time for some good old fashioned drinking talk.

A friend today sent me an article from Serious Eats, which asked what type of drinks you order on a date. Apparently, bartenders can tell a lot about your personality and your mood based on what you order on a date. It went on to tell a story about how a guy ordered a vodka-soda and the woman ordered Black Maple Hill Bourbon, neat. The bartender observed that for the next drink, the woman “downgraded” to a Maker’s Mark Old Fashioned, “clearly” trying to come down to the guy’s level. The oblivious guy then ordered a Chardonnay, and according to the bartender, it was clear the date was done. Say what?? I felt bad for the poor guy in this story – he clearly had no idea he was being judged.

Now, I should note that I totally judge a guy for ordering a crappy beer – but I usually give them the benefit of the doubt and assume that perhaps they are just like I was a few years ago, and have not yet experienced a good craft beer. I take the opportunity to ask about their taste, and then take them to a beer bar and pick the perfect beer for them. If they still insist on ordering Bud Light after that, then and only then do I judge them as either a cheap Scrooge or a classless heathen with no taste (it really could be either one).

But the article got me thinking… what do I order to drink on a date? I realized that it comes down to two dimensions: the venue and my mood. Once I figured that out, of course I had to make a little matrix to enumerate my picks:

While one of my options is the vodka-seltzer that was so denounced in the article, I would argue that a low end bar is no place to get a fancy bourbon, unless you want to look like a total prima donna. I think that my drink picks say that I know how to fit in at any venue and for any occasion. I have some taste in drinks, but I’m still laid back in that I don’t need some foofy drink when I’m at a down-and-dirty dive bar (which I love going to, by the way). On the other hand, if I’m out to a nice dinner or wine bar, I appreciate a good wine or classy cocktail. And while I pay attention to what the guy is drinking, it’s not to judge him (see above) so much as it to make sure that he’s not getting a non-alcoholic drink while I’m getting wasted (or vice versa).

What’s your drink of choice?

Comments

  1. I usually go for a glass of white wine but if I’m in a dive bar, I’ll get a beer.

  2. I’m a sucker for the vodka-lemonade combo, I’m afraid! I’ll often have a look at the menu, and maybe try one or two cocktails, but if we’re staying at a place for more than 2 drinks, I can guarantee the third will be vodka-lemonade, simply because it’s usually half the price of cocktails.

  3. My chart would look a lot like yours except instead of wine I would have some sort of cocktail on there. My favorite classic cocktail is a Moscow Mule – ginger beer + vodka! If I was at a wine bar then I would go with something bubbly (love Prosecco)…I am still acquiring a taste for wine! Beer is my first drink of choice!

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