I have a lot to say about my experience with the Colfax Marathon, but before I get to writing my race report, I really want to write about some amazing things I’m experiencing this week.
As a reward for my promotion this past year, I was invited to go on a personal development retreat out in California. We are staying at a stunningly beautiful resort on the Pacific Coast, eating delicious (and surprisingly healthy!) food, doing morning workouts outside overlooking the ocean… and spending a lot of time in seminars and one-on-one coaching sessions to do a checkpoint on our lives, identify our values and goals, and figure out what changes we need to make to be happy. It’s so rare that we ever take the time to stop and think about these things (or at least, I don’t). I am overwhelmed with gratitude to my company for providing this opportunity, which I can already see is going to be life changing.
But on the other hand, I’m also pretty freaked out by it all. When I truly stop to think about it, I am not honoring my core values, and I’m not often getting to do what makes me happy (professionally or personally). While I am an extremely goal-oriented person, I’m starting to realize that what I’m terrible about is identifying those goals to begin with. Instead of setting goals that are really what’s important to me, I set goals that I think I should set. I should work hard to get promoted, because that’s what people do. I should go out with my friends on a Saturday night because that’s what 20somethings do, even if I’m exhausted and getting sick from lack of sleep. I should finish running a marathon in each state, because I came up with the idea on a whim but then I told so many people that I felt I needed to stick with it.
To be fair, most of the goals I’ve set are ones that I’m glad I stuck with. I’m proud of myself for running a marathon in all 50 states – probably even more proud of the fact that I stuck with it despite it not always being easy or fun to do so. I’m glad I went out with my friends on Saturday night, because I had an absolute blast and it was great to catch up. And I’m glad that I’m doing well at my job, working hard, and continuing to get promotions and bonuses. But are promotions and bonuses the way I define success? They’re how society has taught me to measure it, but I’m not so sure that they’re what I actually want.
Food for thought: take a minute and draw the four circles of your life. Draw one for career, one for family, one for community/friends, and one for self. Maybe something like this…
How do your circles look now? How do you want them to look (doesn’t have to be the same as above)? What, if anything, do you need to change to get them to look the way you want?
Here’s what I drew:
I have a lot of change ahead…